Pregnancy for a woman is God's providence, pregnancy for a man is a test of the sincerity of feelings ...

Between flew and got pregnant there is a big difference!

A man is never a cosmos. And a pregnant woman in the second half of pregnancy, at least, is a closed space for another human being.

Truly happy is the girl who carries under her heart a child conceived by a man.

Make it a rule to terminate pregnancy during the period.

Nothing spoils a woman like a man.

Classic pregnancy quotes

A real family begins with the birth of a child ...

Unfortunately, reproductive physiology is such that it is necessary to make contact.

When she comes out, pinch her nose, and I will blow into her mouth, the child will jump out of her.

Ultimate Classic Pregnancy Quotes

Before you get pregnant, you have to get married so that someone is obliged to have sex with you!

And me, today, they kicked and jumped all night ... What an interesting feeling when someone lives inside you :)

I am pregnant! - I don't remember that we ... - You were drunk! - I don't remember getting so drunk!

In our time, on the bus, only another pregnant woman can give way to a pregnant woman.

Children are flowers of life. How I want this bouquet for myself ...

The only bright spot was the cheerful pink poster and the caption above: "Pregnancy is a natural state of a woman." It turns out that until now I was in the unnatural ?!

It's so cool in the morning to wake up with peace of mind, with love in your heart, with light music in your head and with a tiny life inside ...

First pregnancy - for the wedding. The second is for money. The third - wanted. Fourth, fifth and subsequent ones - let them run, it's a pity or something.

Pregnancy is a virus that is spread by men, but only women are sick.

With my taste preferences, I'm generally afraid to take. Maybe I want wool or machine oil. Or take Bulgaria.

No, Thomas. I'm not pregnant. - Thank God! With your ears and my face, our children will not be envied.

Happy classic pregnancy quotes

I’m even curious what it’s like to know that you’ll soon become a father? Was Tom pissing in his pants with fear or was he just confused?

When we quarreled with your dad (and we quarreled mainly because it seemed to me that he did not correctly solve my whimsical charades, which means - oh, horror! - does not love me), he ran out for a breath of air, choking from an acute shortage words. And I wrapped my arms around you over the belly ball and sadly complained that, behold, they do not understand us, they do not love us, and we are left alone, but we will not abandon each other, never, and will always understand without further ado ... Your dad came back, put a flowering branch of cherry plum in front of us, and said his meek "Forgive me".

When I grow up and learn, I will write a movie about real childbirth. About how everything really happens here. Very famous actors will be filming there, this is important. It is necessary that everyone knows what it is like to give birth to a person. Maybe if we knew more about this side of complex human life, if we did not consider it only a female attraction - then there would be fewer wars?

The most powerful adrenaline rush is not a roller coaster, but waiting for the result of a pregnancy test!

A child is a message from God made with love.

When a woman is about to give birth, nature does something with her, surrounds her with some kind of aura, gives her a special appeal ...

Luxury classic pregnancy quotes

Once I crossed the threshold of motherhood, I suddenly became public property, the animated equivalent of a public park. This cutesy expression "You now eat for two, honey" perfectly conveys the fact that even your dinner is no longer your business. Indeed, when the land of the free has mastered the methods of coercion, the expression "You now eat for us" implies that two hundred and something million who poke their noses all over the place will begin to object if you want to eat a donut with jam, rather than a full dinner of organic products and vegetables, including all five main food groups.

Girls who wrote in blood in the toilet "Hurray, I'm not pregnant!"

Pregnant women have a special energy, they radiate warmth.

They say that in order for a man to feel what pregnancy is, he needs to tie 1.5 kg of cereal to each leg, give a sleeping pill, a diuretic and tie something like a stomach to his belt, and send him to work!

Do you want to be the father of my child? - What? - Just give me the sperm.

Andrei was affectionate with her, called her blood, at first they did not think about the children, they just lived next to each other, enjoying their closeness, and nothing more. A child could even prevent this happiness. But then, somehow, surreptitiously, just because there was a danger of disrupting the eternal order of family hassle, anxiety arose from somewhere that was initially avoided and feared, now they began to watch - will it or not? As the months passed, nothing changed, and then the expectation turned into impatience, then into fear.

If you have ever seen the eyes of a happy pregnant woman, then you will agree with me that no diamonds can compare with the beautiful sparkle of these eyes!

Why is it necessary to become ugly in order to give birth to a new creature?

In general, pregnant women are usually treated as feeble-minded. Like, a normal person will not reach such an absurd state.

Humorous classic pregnancy quotes

He moved, the child moved! - Oh my God! - No, wait ... No, the elastic on the panties was torn.

Emilien, I'm in position! - But how? - The wind blew. I forgot to close the window.

The little daughter came to her father and asked the little one: "Two stripes - okay?" Dad felt bad.

And I had no idea that the contemplation of a pregnant woman is so calming - as soon as I enter a subway car, all the guys sitting down fall asleep ...

Yeah .. pregnancy is such a thing: it is affectionate and loving, then ... - Cruel, revengeful and castrating? - Well, I wanted to say "capricious" ... - Well, everything is still ahead.

You are a sailor, I am a sailor. You are a fisherman, I am a fisherman. You're on land, I'm on the sea, How did you get pregnant?

The girl decided to inform her husband about her pregnancy in an original way - she renamed her name on her husband's phone to the name "Stork", and in the morning, when her husband left for work, she sent him a text message: "I already flew out ... I'll be there in about 8 months. .. Wait ")))

I am pregnant. - Are you pregnant with a child? - How long have you been sniffing these markers? Of course a child!

Ultrasound showed that they will have ... WEDDING!

The whole time I was pregnant with Kevin, I fought against the very idea of \u200b\u200bKevin, with the belief that I had demoted myself, from a driver to a car, from a landlord to a house.

Now everyone is getting married "on-the-fly", but I don't want that ... But I want my loved one to marry me not because she is pregnant, but because he loves me and cannot live without me for a second ...

My girl has a bun in the oven, and I guess you know who the damn baker is.

The Catholic woman is allowed to avoid pregnancy, only using arithmetic, astrology and logic, although there remains a complete taboo on physics, astronomy and chemistry. - Henry Mencken

In the beginning, you will ascend, and you will soar, hovering in the clouds in the seventh heaven, basking and dreaming. After nine months, you will slowly fall to the sinful and stony ground. - Mikhail Mamchich

Many cause nausea, up to vomiting. Pregnant - and your nausea is only from one. - Evgeny Khankin

Pantyhose that a pregnancy test. Two stripes - echoes are joyfully sent to us.

Man is naturally afraid of pregnancy. Kindergarten in men it also causes allergies, urgent matters and wild fright. - A. Ivanov

It is impossible to be pregnant with a gram, as well as 100 percent sure.

The production of a full-fledged person takes a full nine months as planned.

Trusting and doubting is constantly akin to persecution mania, idiocy, or half-pregnancy.

It is impossible to shorten the term or duration of pregnancy by reforming complex numbers or a calendar. - Stanislav Lec

Read the continuation of the famous aphorisms and quotes on the pages:

I went out into the fresh air to work up my appetite. And, judging by the stomach, walked up. - A.V. Ivanov

Selling a test for ... positive)))

Men! - this is a miracle, not a curse!

The spiral of evolution turned out to be contraceptive. - Gennady Malkin

Desirable gum is gum stuff. - A.V. Ivanov

The most interesting situation is when a woman, who finds herself in an interesting position, is very interested in: which of the possible applicants for paternity put her in such an interesting position? - Yuri Tatarkin

So in the heat of the moment they made me ... - A.V. Ivanov

You can't live like that! It's time to protect yourself! - Maya Chetvyortova

Sex and - it's like ice cream and sore throat.

This is a unique time in a woman's life that is worth living on a royal scale !!!

They do different inscriptions on T-shirts.
Why not write different
inscriptions on wedding dresses ?! For example, the inscription “Not pregnant!” Had
would be a wild success! Vladimir Borisov

Darling, we'd better take our time ... because I think it influences your decisions.
- No, no, Marshal, we must not miss this opportunity! Just because a mushroom is growing in me now ...
- Fruit.
- ... Doesn't mean that my thoughtful peoples ...
- Mental capacity.
-… Became umbilical!
“I… I have no idea.

A powerful flashlight - blinds!

Here you are friends with someone and then it suddenly turns out that he is in love with you ... it's like a positive test for and

Most best test wait 9 months for this

A man comes into the pharmacy: -Two tests for and two validols.

The inscription on the hospital: hey, gay, stray!

Most women dream of getting married because of a great and pure love, but as a result, they go out mostly on the fly. - Vladimir Borisov.

You don't really know a guy until you ask him to put on a condom. - Madonna

The safest way to protect yourself is by mouth. - A.V. Ivanov

This shocker is in service with the Chinese police

Envy is when you buy a test for at the pharmacy, and the girl in front of you - tampons

If you imagine for a moment that a man can become pregnant, then abortion will become a church sacrament.

The inscription at the entrance to the Chinese maternity hospital: Enough !!!

Only a pregnant man can be more capricious than a pregnant woman.

Any pregnant woman is like a Trojan horse.

And next time I'll tell you how to make your boyfriend nervous using a felt-tip pen and test

She's nervous .. Nervous

Look how big your belly is. You're going to burst, baby. - Eh, dad, dad .. If I tell you the truth, you will go nuts ...

I have been tormented by one question for a very long time: how do girls get pregnant on a television show and in high-security places? Even in the animal kingdom they do not breed in captivity.

The best contraceptive is pregnancy.

It, like, broke, sealed it, didn't help?

For some reason I was angry with Daniel. He's also responsible, but he doesn't have to spend eight pounds ninety-five pence hiding in the closet and writing on a stick ...

They say they have invented an absolutely reliable birth control pill. Too late. It would be better if she was a bone in the apple that the snake offered Eve. - Stanislav Jerzy Lec

The best time to study is pregnancy, because two study in one. - Elena Ermolova

Father, I got pregnant. Keep a list of your partners.

A tense relationship with a condom is not burdensome. - Evgeny Khankin

- this is when you feel sick and drawn to salty. For example, you feel sick of boredom and feel drawn to the salty sea!

Abortion shish, womb! palindrome) - Stepan Balakin

Not a single guy will understand what those 3 minutes are worth when doing a test for ...

Men! - this is a miracle, not a curse! Sex and - it's like ice cream and sore throat.

The hen Ryaba saw Faberge eggs and did not envy the hen who gave birth to these eggs ... - Vladimir Borisov

Our friendship slowly grew into yours

The test for is like children's tights: if 2 stripes means an ASS!

Cupid's arrows are a mysterious thing. Getting them into a woman will not only not injure her, but will even stop bleeding for many months ...

It's time not only t-shirts, but also wedding Dresses decorate with inscriptions ... For example, the inscription is very relevant: NOT ... PREGNANT !!! - Vladimir Borisov

A woman is a mystery, and her only solution is ...

you also, opening your mouth in surprise, thoughtfully holding it out ...

Commentary: I am explaining right away - I will not explain! - V. Galashev

How long has it been that I want more.

What a paradox in life? Why are condoms, tape and tests not on the same line in many pharmacies?

Virtual communication leads to immaculate conception and the birth of children with avatar faces and nicknames. - Elena Ermolova

Is there a mania for everyone ??? Where don't go everyone is pregnant ...

This is when you feel sick and drawn to salty. For example, you feel sick of boredom and feel drawn to the salty sea!

Tell me, were there any pregnant women in your family?

A man is never a cosmos. And a pregnant woman in the second half of pregnancy, at least, is a closed space for another human being.

If you want to get a strong dose of adrenaline, do not go on the roller coaster, it is better to do a pregnancy test.

He made her a position that she could not refuse ...

Material expression of sexual satisfaction.

Oh Mary, conceived without sin, make it so that I can sin without conception! Augustine Broan

Unfortunately, reproductive physiology is such that it is necessary to make contact.

The problem not only went deep, but also led to unwanted pregnancy. - Mikhail Mamchich

Our friendship slowly grew into yours. God gave me an unspeakable MIRACLE, I will be happier, I will be MOTHER :)

Tests for are takeoff green sticks. - Vladimir Borisov

The whole time I was pregnant with Kevin, I fought against the very idea of \u200b\u200bKevin, with the belief that I had demoted myself, from a driver to a car, from a landlord to a house.

Expectant mothers! You are strong, ready to give birth to your miracle alone, you are happy, you will have your own family! Ahead of you are diapers, nights without sleep, the first tooth, the first mother, the first step. Good luck!

The best contraceptive is a glass cold water: not before and not after, but instead of. Humor)

If you enjoy safe sex, don't get married. -Gennady Malkin.

It’s not 5 years, but I’ve been running and looking in my bag, when my mom comes, suddenly there’s something delicious)

Selling test for ... Positive.)

The female body is like a clockwork: when you start it, it ticks for nine months. - Mikhail Mamchich

Once I crossed the threshold of motherhood, I suddenly became public property, the animated equivalent of a public park. This cutesy expression You now eat for two, my dear perfectly conveys the fact that even your dinner is no longer your business. Indeed, when the land of the free has mastered the methods of coercion, the expression You now eat for us implies that two hundred and something million who are poking their noses all over the place will begin to object if you want to eat a donut with jam, and not a full meal of organic products and vegetables. including all five main food groups. The right to command pregnant women is likely to be included in the Constitution.

Do not ask in what cases it is possible to kill the unborn. Answer: for what? - Boleslav Pashkovsky

Mom: How are you protecting yourself? Daughter: Moral principles, mom!

If you want to get rid of a guy, just get pregnant with him. There was a guy, there is no guy.

If you are puzzled by the question of how to spend a night that will remain in your memory forever. I have an answer - take delivery.

Everything in a woman is a mystery, and the clue to everything is her fertility.

- The Queen of Scots had a legitimate son, and I am just a dead, withered bitch! Elizabeth I

Girls live in a world of fears. They are afraid to never get pregnant and are afraid to fly in ...

The most powerful adrenaline rush is not a roller coaster, but waiting for the test result for !!!

Painfully familiar music and a strange feeling of life in the chest area ...)

Easy falling in love is as absurd as easy.

It is hard for you women, menstruation, cellulite, childbirth ... But don't fucking have apples!

You know, there is no one more beautiful than a pregnant woman. There is happiness in the eyes. There is love in the heart. There is a blush on the cheeks. And inside is a little life.

He made her a position that she could not refuse.

I want happiness. Little such happiness. With tiny arms and legs. And with his eyes.

Under the sun and the moon, troubles will pass by, bypassing our house with you. We will look at the sparks by the fireplace. You will become a mother, and I will become a father.

Happiness is when your weight increases not from extra calories, but from the fact that your little miracle lives inside you.

Pregnancy for a woman is God's providence, pregnancy for a man is a test of the sincerity of feelings.

The most incredible extreme feeling is waiting for the result of a pregnancy test!

And I, today, kicked and jumped all night. What an interesting feeling it is when someone lives inside you.

To decide to have a child means to agree that from now on and forever your heart will run separately from you.

Where to buy happiness? - Happiness cannot be bought, it can be given birth.

The best hairstyle is clean hair, the best makeup is a healthy sleep, the best figure is pregnancy.

Nine months give new life at least three lives at once.

"Leonid S. Sukhorukov"

The day when there are three of us will be the happiest day in my life.

The woman is unique! Only in it can two hearts beat.

One thing I know is that happiness grows in my belly; it is the most precious thing that can be.

I thought my head was spinning from love, but it turned out - from pregnancy.

God gave me an unspeakable miracle - I will become wiser, I will be a mother. Your heart in me beats like a butterfly - I wake up, smile, and it will smile. It will not betray, it will be a joy, a particle of me, a golden starfall.

With my taste preferences, I'm generally afraid to take. Perhaps I would like wool or machine oil. Or take Bulgaria.

First pregnancy - for the wedding. The second is for money. The third - they wanted a girl. Fourth, fifth and subsequent ones - let them run, it's a pity or something.

Not all men understand the value of human life, which has just originated in a woman, they do not cherish her like a crystal vessel with clean water, they do not understand that this is a gift of God, for which the Lord will ask them ... he will certainly ask.

Pregnancy is the result of a bodily celebration with all the consequences flowing into it.

"Igor Subbotin"

What a strange bliss to realize that there, inside, perfection grows and ripens, our angel, the fruit of our love.

There are now two hearts inside me ... I have nowhere to go from happiness ... and I don't want to go ... I will enjoy it!

Nothing can be better than holding a piece of yourself in your arms.

We'll earn money! We will win love! We will achieve success! Happiness ... And we will give birth to happiness!

At 9 in the morning, a pregnancy test showed that the wife was pregnant, and at 10 we already had a fight, arguing about which institution the child should go to.

Love is when you carry his child under your heart, and when he comes home from work he gently hugs you and kisses your tummy.

Why don't you want to sleep
Are you spinning all night?
I love you, son ...
Or maybe a daughter?

Truly happy is the girl who carries under her heart a child conceived from a beloved man.

It's so cool to wake up in the morning with peace of mind, with love in your heart, with light music in your head and with tiny life inside.

Playful statuses and aphorisms about pregnancy

H u and let me be like a watermelon! I have a little one there!

FROM first - in seventh heaven, then - nine months of landing.

TO only her husband can be more apricious than a pregnant woman.

H and the seventh month of happiness!

L The best hairstyle is clean hair, the best makeup is a healthy sleep, the best figure is pregnancy.

"B pregnancy is the natural state of a woman. " It turns out that until now I was in the unnatural ?!

AND You can give birth to a perfect man yourself!

AT from so you carry 9 months, then give birth for at least 6 hours, then you do not get enough sleep at night, and you see he looks like DAD !!!

FROM The best thing a guy can say to a girl is, "If I ever fall in love with another girl, it will be our daughter."

B Pregnancy and childbirth make a beautiful girl a gorgeous young woman!

H and what is not as inspiring as the anticipation of meeting your sequel ...

P Why should one become ugly in order to give birth to a new creature?

I so funny ... the navel is upright ... I walk slowly and am afraid to the hospital ... So interesting - there she or he is, now I'm not alone, I'm 2 in 1 ...

ABOUT Some people receive only experience, and from someone a whole life.

D The marriage ends in pregnancy. Men never grow up.

Have me a sacred load - the little one is hidden in the body! He lives in his tummy and eats and drinks with me. He worries about everything and counts the days until the meeting!

B pregnancy is a virus that is spread by men, but only women are sick.

F a woman carries a baby - 9 months in herself, 2 years on herself, all her life in her heart

FROM The most incredible extreme in sensations - waiting for the result of a pregnancy test!

AND one drop is enough when it comes to pregnancy.

B Pregnancy is the only period of time for a woman when she can finally relax her abdominal muscles and still look stunning!

ABOUT I love my belly - it wears a toddler ... he is in it, as in a house he lives and waits for his birth ...

M supper, which really loves, wants to change only two things in a woman .. Last name and belly!

Z Nay, dear, a stork flew to me here, left a gift for you. You can unpack it after 9 months.

FROM The most valuable gifts are put in an envelope ... and taken out of the hospital!

F A woman is pleased with the fullness of only another woman or in case of pregnancy.

T OXICOSIS STRANGE CONDITION - WANT MANDARINE AND EAT SAUSAGE)

ABOUT he turned my head so giddy that I was sick for 9 months ...

D They say, happiness cannot be measured and weighed ... but obstetricians succeed .... !!!

R You really grow up - this is when you hope to see not one, but two strips in a pregnancy test !!!

F life - it's striped ... either one strip, or even two ...

F willow slowly waiting for a miracle!

I so happy to live in this time ... knowing that she is pregnant again!

FROM what happiness begins with stripes on my test, ultrasound that the heart will show, with the fact that now we are together! I'm expecting a baby !!!

M There is a big difference between flying and getting pregnant!

B pregnancy is a miracle that happens only to women and is appreciated only by worthy men ...

P childbirth pregnancy test ... Positive.

FROM The best gift from a loved one is another beating heart inside you!

B Pregnancy is a fact of the matter!

P First pregnancy - for the wedding.
The second is for money.
The third - they wanted a girl.
Fourth, fifth and subsequent ones - let them run, it's a pity or something.

E If you are pregnant, then you need to give birth. If a friend is pregnant, you need to be glad that it is not for you to give birth.

P The sentence "18 years of imprisonment with the gradual confiscation of property" issued a pregnancy test to citizen Sidorova.

Z Avist is when you buy a pregnancy test at the pharmacy, and the girl in front of you - tampons.

B Being afraid of pregnancy means not going to kindergarten.

M a snake comes into the pharmacy: "- Two pregnancy tests and two validols."

7 months is no longer a position, but a specific pregnancy.

FROM a part cannot be bought, it can be given birth.

AT Now I have two hearts inside me… I have nowhere to go from happiness… and I don’t want to go… I will enjoy it!

R Aspolnela is 20 kg for pregnancy, and he looks at me with loving eyes and considers me the most beautiful ... this is love.

B pregnancy for a woman is a trade, pregnancy for a man is a test of the sincerity of feelings ...

Have knowing about pregnancy, determine the circle of suspects in the crime ...

...x ronic pregnancy ...

B A pregnant woman reacts to the phrase: - Has not given birth yet ??? exactly the same ... like a dog at the word of FAS.

P I gain weight and am sincerely happy about it!

P Can you consider pregnancy as an occupational injury?

FROM the part cannot be bought, it can be given birth.

M he was too shy to buy condoms, and now he buys pregnancy tests.

D The fifth month is the longest

AT Take it as a rule to terminate a pregnancy while you are dating.

E If a woman became infected with childhood, in her maternity hospital;
if a man is infected with childhood, he is in a madhouse!

I I thought my head was spinning from love, but it turned out - from pregnancy ...

F The woman is unique! Only in her can two hearts beat

TO I’ll drop the pregnancy test, the red marker and start preparing for the wedding!

Have ZI showed that your baby looks one hundred placentas.

B A pregnant ninth-grader is a pot-bellied little thing.

H and the production of one person takes an average of nine man-months.

H then for the paradox of life? Why are condoms, tape and pregnancy tests on the same line in many pharmacies? It, like, broke, sealed it, didn't help?

P apa i'm pregnant, here's a list of suspects ...

H When I was 9 months pregnant, I asked my husband to paint my toenails. He denied for a long time, they say I am not able and this is not a man's business. Offended, went into the shower. I go out and see how he paints HIS nails with the words "WHAT ONLY WILL NOT COME INTO THE HEAD OF A PREGNANT WOMAN ..."

H that is, every man deserves a son, but not everyone wants to give a beautiful daughter ...

L The best contraceptive is pregnancy.

B Pregnancy is when you feel sick and crave salty. For example, you feel sick of boredom and feel drawn to the salty sea!

M silly, buy ... bread ... pineapples ... currants ... red onions ... and apparently ... a pregnancy test ...

F Women's happiness is when you eat pickled cucumber with one hand, and with the other ... you leaf through the encyclopedia of names and just smile.

There is no more valuable and more careful gift from a loved one than a new little heart beating inside you!

It is not a sin to envy when the girls take tampons in front of you at the pharmacy, and you get a pregnancy test.

Not a single guy can understand - 3 minutes are expensive when you expect to be given a pregnancy test.

Best status:
- My dear dear cat, a tummy grows from love. In it, baby, such a paw will squeak and say "DADDY".

- Darling, please, give me three magic words that connect the hearts of lovers forever. - I'm pregnant, darling!

It's time to buy a red marker, a pregnancy test, and get ready for your wedding!

- Man, are you pregnant? !! Behave like a capricious pregnant lady!

- I pay great attention to your words? - Well, what are you, no, not every day I hear from a man: "Your task is to give birth to my child!"

There is no more valuable and precious cargo in the world than a small coveted toddler in a mother's tummy.

Every peasant has known from time immemorial that in order for a goose or turkey to get fat for the New Year, it is hung in a net and force-fed. In other words, he is deprived of the ability to move, and fed for slaughter. And in 2-3 weeks it is ready.

The inscription on the hospital: hey, gay, stray!

Selling a pregnancy test ... positive

I went out into the fresh air to work up my appetite. And, judging by the stomach, walked up. - A.V. Ivanov

- my rabbit. - Yes my Sunshine! - and when we will have sunbeams

In order not to get sick from many people around you, you can get pregnant and then you will feel sick from one thing - Evgeny Khankin

Envy is when you buy a pregnancy test at the pharmacy, and the girl in front of you is tampons

Calendar reform does not shorten pregnancy. - Stanislav Jerzy Lec

It's so cool when your boyfriend tells you: "Dress warmly, you still have my children!"

Desirable gum is gum stuff. - A.V. Ivanov

A Catholic woman is already allowed to avoid pregnancy with mathematics, but it is strictly forbidden to resort to chemistry or physics. - Henry Louis Mencken

... Girls live in a world of fears. They are afraid to never get pregnant and are afraid to fly in ...

The inscription at the entrance to the Chinese maternity hospital: Enough !!!

The safest way to protect yourself is by mouth. - A.V. Ivanov

Virtual communication leads to immaculate conception and the birth of children with avatar faces and nicknames. - Elena Ermolova

You don't really know a guy until you ask him to put on a condom. - Madonna

Commentary: I am explaining right away - I will not explain! - V. Galashev

Everything in a woman is a mystery, and the clue to everything is her fertility.

- Dear, you will soon become a dad! - Eh, and I wanted to be an astronaut ...

The problem not only went deep, but also led to unwanted pregnancy. - Mikhail Mamchich

Half trusting is like being a little pregnant. - Alexander Kargin-Utkin

Tell me, were there any pregnant women in your family?

Once I crossed the threshold of motherhood, I suddenly became public property, the animated equivalent of a public park. This cutesy expression You now eat for two, my dear perfectly conveys the fact that even your dinner is no longer your business. Indeed, when the land of the free has mastered the methods of coercion, the expression You now eat for us implies that two hundred and something million who are poking their noses all over the place will begin to object if you want to eat a donut with jam, and not a full meal of organic products and vegetables. including all five main food groups. The right to command pregnant women is likely to be included in the Constitution.

A man walks into a pharmacy: "-Two pregnancy tests and two validols."

The most interesting situation is when a woman, who finds herself in an interesting position, is very interested in: which of the possible applicants for paternity put her in such an interesting position? - Yuri Tatarkin

It's time to decorate not only T-shirts, but also wedding dresses with inscriptions ... For example, the inscription is very relevant: NOT ... PREGNANT !!! - Vladimir Borisov

A man is never a cosmos. And a pregnant woman in the second half of pregnancy, at least, is a closed space for another human being.

The female body is like a clockwork: when you start it, it ticks for nine months. - Mikhail Mamchich

The hen Ryaba saw Faberge eggs and did not envy the hen who gave birth to these eggs ... - Vladimir Borisov

The whole time I was pregnant with Kevin, I fought against the very idea of \u200b\u200bKevin, with the belief that I had demoted myself, from a driver to a car, from a landlord to a house.

The best contraceptive is a glass of cold water, not before or after, but instead. NN 1 Humor)

The best contraceptive is pregnancy.

Abortion shish, womb! palindrome) - Stepan Balakin

Dad I'm pregnant, here's a list of suspects

A tense relationship with a condom is not burdensome. - Evgeny Khankin

Tests for are takeoff green sticks. - Vladimir Borisov

You can't live like that! It's time to protect yourself! - Maya Chetvyortova

They say they have invented an absolutely reliable birth control pill. Too late. It would be better if she was a bone in the apple that the snake offered Eve. - Stanislav Jerzy Lec

So in the heat of the moment they made me ... - A.V. Ivanov

Any pregnant woman is like a Trojan horse.

The best time to study is pregnancy, because two study in one. - Elena Ermolova